“Before You Embark On A Journey Of Revenge, Dig Two Graves.” — Confucius
Living a fulfilling life truly is the ultimate form of retaliation; as George Herbert, a poet from the 16th century, aptly put it," Living well is the best revenge." It's a sentiment that rings true, much like the famous line from Tony Soprano (Revenge is like serving cold cuts), albeit with a slight correction: "Revenge is a dish best-served cold."
There's a certain satisfaction in immersing oneself in tales where justice is served, and revenge is victorious, whether it's through literature like Alexandre Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo" or Hollywood blockbusters like "The Godfather" trilogy or "Sleepers." The theme of vengeance captures our imagination time and again.
Yet reality often diverges from the romanticized versions we encounter in art. Often, seeking revenge leaves a bitter taste, poisoning the soul and inviting more chaos and distress into our lives.
Just this morning, a close friend recounted a betrayal by a former boss that had left him jobless and emotionally drained. Fueled by anger, thoughts of revenge consumed him. But as fate would have it, he eventually found a better opportunity while his former boss faced consequences for his misconduct.
Reflecting on his journey, we delved into the dichotomy of revenge and forgiveness. In my own life, as I shared in 'The Power of Forgiveness (MM#100),' I experienced the burden of holding grudges. It was only when I released my resentment and sought understanding that I found inner peace and the freedom to pursue my dreams without hindrance. This personal transformation underscores the power of forgiveness in our lives.
It's crucial to recognize that those who harm us are often consumed by their own lives, oblivious to the damage they've inflicted. While seeking revenge may provide a fleeting sense of satisfaction, it ultimately empowers our offenders. In contrast, redirecting that energy towards our own personal growth and progress is the most potent form of retribution, a testament to the transformative power of forgiveness.
The story of Marcus Aurelius, betrayed by his friend General Avidius Cassius, is a powerful example. Despite having the means to exact vengeance, Aurelius chose forgiveness, recognizing the shared humanity even in those who wronged him.
So, can we follow in the footsteps of a stoic emperor and choose forgiveness over revenge? As Aurelius himself believed, living well is indeed the greatest revenge.
Quote: “The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly……I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine.”-Marcus Aurelius
Book Recommendation: The Art of Letting Go: Stop Overthinking, Stop Negative Spirals, and Find Emotional Freedom by Nick Trenton
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